


Human Again

by lakemonsters



Category: Gintama
Genre: Doomed Love, End of a Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-25
Updated: 2013-11-25
Packaged: 2018-01-02 14:38:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1057964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lakemonsters/pseuds/lakemonsters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Doomed from the start: Introspective scribbling from Takasugi's POV, regarding his departure from Joui and separation from Katsura.</p><hr/><p>"We don’t question the way you reach out to, hold me back, maybe for the last time. And maybe that’s enough, at least there is hesitation and maybe we can make ourselves believe that we both have our regrets."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Human Again

Somehow we both knew that it was over before it even started. 

Sometimes you don’t need proof - you just know. It didn’t matter how many times we ran for cover hoping to save what we have and it was useless to try and save each other, it didn’t matter because there were other things that mattered more.

 

A bigger cause, a less-trivial reason to keep on delaying the inevitable.

We sit side by side in front of the koi pond (that you built yourself, with hands whose warmth I have not forgotten).

In this compound I have a certain degree of protection and a definite amount of immunity from the troubles of the world. I find a little peace in talking to you and settling the voices in me that renders me unable to be with anyone other than myself (for long periods of time).

It was never simple and should not be labeled as simple as friendship or camaraderie because we live our lives in a way that ordinary men would not even dream of. 

The fireflies are restless and circle around us, looking for a place to rest. We sit motionless hoping to hold back a little longer, wondering how we fell low enough that we’ve reached the point of no return. But you were always the keeper of our verbal gauntlet and you spell out the things that’s needed to be said - this is as far as we go.

For the way we live our lives, it’s impossible for this to grow.

We don’t contest this and the mutual feelings hurt more than the actual even that’s taking place between us. I am first to get up - the violet and gold kimono challenging the fireflies a dazzling contrast in this dark and cold night.

We don’t question the way you reach out to, hold me back, maybe for the last time. And maybe that’s enough, at least there is hesitation and maybe we can make ourselves believe that we both have our regrets.

On the first step I take - away from you, I casually toss my heart out into the still waters of the pond: A beast does not need a heart just its stomach to feed its insatiable appetite.

On the second step I take - away from you, I laugh in a sinister manner and tell you I’m alright: A beast does not cry after all it only knows the joy of being alive, surviving.

On the third step I take away from you - just before I reach the gates, I stop to look back at you, memorize the face, accept the tears you shed on my behalf: 

_And in that instant, I am human again._


End file.
